Bill White’s HEALTHY COUPLES Web Blog


** CLASSES & EVENTS

 **If you’d like to be kept on a contact e-mail list for all events and updates, send an e-mail to:

bill@thehealthycouple.com

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 I’m leading two workshops next month in January 2017. The title of each is:

ADVANCED ANGER AND ARGUMENT SOLUTIONS:

How to Dissolve Conflicts and Emotional Upsets, and Restore Love, Play, and Connection

 

The first workshop will be in Tucson very soon–the weekend of the 14-15th. The basic outline of what will be covered will be explained down below. Since it is a new workshop, I’m offering a reduced rate as I give this a trial run and work out any bugs. The same workshop will be given in Costa Rica over the course of a week beginning January 28th. I will explain how that came about next.

I’ve had the good fortune of being in communication with someone who has become my favorite spiritual teacher, Teal Swan. She is very practical, very real, brilliant, and shows courageous self-honesty. In just a few years she has become known all over the world.

Teal has just opened a retreat center in Costa Rica that is designed to alleviate the disconnection that we humans tend to experience. She’s holding week-long retreats by bringing in experts that help people create connection. She loves the work I’ve created and has asked me to lead a workshop there at her retreat center, Philia (pronounced fill-ee ah). Of course, I told her, ‘Hell yes!”

So, I’m also inviting you to join me in Costa Rica on January 28th for what’s going to be an amazing experience. Here is the website link to the retreat center that tells you about the Center and the basics of the week-long retreats. http://philiacenter.com/retreats/

Here is the link that takes you directly to the detailed information on my workshop in Costa Rica. http://philiacenter.com/retreats/73/advanced-anger-and-argument-solutions-how-to-dissolve-conflicts-and-emotional-upsets-and-restore-love-play-and-connection/

Philia Retreat Center is offering a $250 reduction in the cost of the workshop if you register before the end of the year. Ask me how to get this.

 

The workshop in Tucson

Would you like to have new and effective ways to not only resolve anger and arguments, but actually dissolve them? Do you like to go deep to find out what’s at the root of the emotional upsets vs working on the surface? If so, this is THE workshop for you.

The workshop will be personal and interactive, as well as educational. You will be actively addressing the emotional upsets that you are experiencing. The workshop is a distillation of the work I have developed over 33 years of developing myself and my approaches. You will leave the workshop with an understanding of key insights and tools for dissolving anger and arguments, as well as with handouts that cover the basics of the workshop. This workshop may be life-changing for you.

Days: Saturday 14th and Sunday 15th

Time: from 9am to 6pm each day, with a one-hour lunch around 1pm.

Where: The Healthy Water Resource Center, which is a house at 4810 E. 1st St Tucson (Speedway and Swan—not first avenue). Space is limited to 14 people.

Cost: a one-time reduced early-bird rate of $120, which is $7.50 per hour for the 16-hour workshop.

To get the early-bird rate you must pay for the workshop by midnight on Tuesday January 10th (or you may make arrangements to pay partial, and the remainder by the start of the workshop). The rate for anyone signing up after Tuesday night is $160. You must RSVP and be confirmed that you are in the workshop. Please, no showing up the day of the workshop unconfirmed.

You may send a check to Bill White 4834 E. 1st St. Tucson, AZ 85711, or use my PayPal link https://www.paypal.me/billwhite There are no refunds once you pay for the course, but the funds can be used for future services if there is an emergency that prevents you from being at the workshop.

If you go, you will wish so-and-so were there as well. So, ask yourself, “Who would I want to join me there for this important workshop?”

Important note: This workshop is NOT for you if:

  • You are not interested in addressing the influence of your childhood experiences on your emotional reactions today.
  • You are not coming for yourself, but are coming because someone in your life wants you to go.

 

You will want to read over the details of the workshop on the site for Philia http://philiacenter.com/retreats/73/advanced-anger-and-argument-solutions-how-to-dissolve-conflicts-and-emotional-upsets-and-restore-love-play-and-connection/

In addition, here is the basic outline of what will be covered over the two days:

Introduction:

  • Why is learning how to navigate anger and conflict important? What’s at stake? How unhealthy conflict skills generate trauma and dysfunction in people’s lives, and adds to the world’s suffering.
  • My personal struggle with anger and relationship conflict.
  • What brought you here?
  • You will learn not just from me, but from the other workshop participants.
  • What are the basic remedial steps to take when you’re enraged and deep in reaction?

 

Listening—what helps, what hurts

  • Identify poor listening and outline the general problems it creates. (interrupting, not following their lead, judging, fixing, giving advice)
  • Identify the magical qualities of good listening and the benefits. (curiosity, exploring, allowing, accepting, letting the person unwind themselves without your input, asking key questions, validating, keeping your process out of the mix)
  • How to speak so that you are heard (not over-talking, pauses, from the heart, speaking about yourself—‘I’ messages, noticing if the other person is grasping your message or not).
  • Exercises

 

Why good love relationships go bad, and what the remedies are. [This will also explain family and friend relationships that go sour.

  • The destructive influence of the survival brain that dictates how you operate inside relationships
  • 3 central remedies to set the stage for healthy, happy relationships

 

Identify common anger and argument problems, and the key solutions

  • What we instinctively do when we’re angry and upset that just doesn’t work.
  • The key alternative approaches to take that works exceptionally well.
  • What feels natural to do (when we’re triggered into a reaction), but does not work. What feels unnatural, but does work.
  • The unseen role of the survival brain that has humans do what doesn’t work.
  • How the pull to avoid dealing with emotional upsets makes things worse.
  • The need to 1) identify and own your part, as well as to apologize and make changes, 2) see the vulnerable emotion below the anger, and 3) identify the strong influence of your childhood themes that trigger your emotional reactions.
  • Specific step-by-step tools for dealing with emotional upsets.

 

EXERCISES:

Using your new tools, practice navigating an emotional upset via an inward-looking writing process. Then paired sharing and group discussion.

Practice walking a partner through their emotional upset

 

Tools and insights for interacting when there is emotional upset

  • Identify the do’s and don’ts for the interaction process when you are addressing an emotional upset with one another.
  • What feels natural to do (when attempting to interact), but does not work. What feels unnatural, but does work.
  • Get permission with the person before having a processing interaction
  • Ways to start the interaction from a soft, open place.
  • Only one person processes their emotions at a time.
  • Focus on just one situation at a time.
  • How to not blame.
  • How to focus on the emotional content instead of trying to fix the situation. Dissolving emotions will usually provide solutions organically. Acceptance, allowing, and understanding are the initial goals of processing, and not finding solutions.

 

EXERCISES:

Using your new tools, each person practices walking a partner through an emotional upset. Then paired sharing and group discussion.

 

IDENTIFYING AND DEALING WITH TOXIC PEOPLE

  • All parties must be on board with these principles of addressing upset and conflict in order for these methods to work inside a relationship. Some people will likely never be on board.
  • The obviously toxic people, and the seemingly wonderful people who are toxic.
  • The one key element that identifies whether someone is merely difficult (all of us) or impossible, and not worth your time.
  • How to keep someone in your heart, but also keep them at a distance.
  • How to prevent getting involved with a toxic person.
  • How to initiate changes, or else how to extract yourself from a toxic relationship and minimize the inevitable collateral damage. What to NEVER do.
  • Dealing with toxic family members or co-workers/bosses.
  • The choice for security and inclusion or for your well-being.

 

More key elements for dissolving emotional upsets:

  • The practice of focusing on the clearing of upsets as a path to healing, aliveness, and heartfelt connection with others.
  • Bringing compassion for what you as a child endured.
  • Grieving the past, as well as its damaging influence on your life/well-being/relationships.
  • Forgiving yourself, forgiving others. What does that really mean? The basic tool: Everyone was born innocent and became wounded. Bring compassion for their plight.
  • How to accept the parts of our personality that we want to hide.
  • How acceptance of the parts of yourself that you don’t like can lead you to a connection to your spiritual self—the self that is about love, service, acceptance, and creating.
  • You have two completely different aspects of yourself operating at the same time. You need to know which one is which.

 

Live demonstration with a volunteer to show how I work with someone to address and dissolve an emotional upset or a conflict situation with another.

Group discussion

BRIEF REVIEW OF WORKSHOP

KEY POINTS TO KEEP UPPERMOST IN MIND

__________________________________________

Okay, there you have it. Call or write if you have questions. If you really want to be at this workshop, sign up soon, as the workshop is limited to 14 people.

My workshops are interactive, personal, and people usually find they feel a sense of family with those in the workshop. I look forward to seeing you at this one or another one in the future. If you can’t make this one and really want to be at a next one, let me know and I’ll put you on a list.

I will repeat the message earlier that this workshop is NOT for you if:

  • You are not interested in addressing the influence of your childhood experiences on your emotional reactions today, and/or,
  • You are not coming for yourself, but are coming because someone in your life wants you to go.

 

PS: Do you know someone who might want to know about this? Feel free to pass it on.

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THESE BELOW ARE PAST CLASSES OR WORKSHOPS

 NOTE: Classes and events are in chronological order starting with the most recent event.

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  Essential Elements for a Healthy, Lasting Love Relationship 

Free lecture

Tuesday July 27th 2010 6:30-8pm

 

Are you confused about what makes a healthy love relationship?  We humans aren’t doing very well in our love relationships. To complicate the

matter, we hear so many tips about how to have a good relationship that people

end up completely confused about which factors are actually essential.

In this lecture, Bill will provide a condensed version of his 25 years of

experience with helping couples in creating healthy relationships. We will

identify some of the key mistakes people make in choosing love partners.

We will also identify a few crucial elements that must be in place if we’re

going to have a healthy conscious, lasting love relationship. Invite a teenager

to come to get a healthy start on relationships.

Location

Discover Chiropractic Clinic

7290 E. Broadway (east of Kolb on south side)

 

Please RSVP 520-731-9595.

Come early so we can start on time.

 

 

A 4-week class on this topic begins Tuesday August 10th.

See below for class information

E-mail:  bill@thehealthycouple.com  Web site: www.thehealthycouple.com

Phone:319-9132

 

   HEALTHY LOVE RELATIONSHIP MINI-BOOTCAMP

Bill White will be giving a 4-week Tuesday evening class at Discover Chiropractic Clinic starting August 10th entitled, “Essential Elements for a Healthy, Lasting Love Relationship”.  Bill says, “If certain key elements are not in place, you have a slim chance of having a happy, passionate relationship that you can be confident will last a lifetime. Some of what you hear in this class may not seem like good news. Trust me, it’s better news than where you’re presently headed in your love relationships.”

This class will outline the key elements for a healthy relationship, including kindness and respect, sexual desire, having a bigger purpose than the relationship, and healthy communication. Bill will also provide tools from The HEARD Model. This is a new model for relationships that Bill developed which teaches people how to dissolve anger and eliminate unproductive arguments and fighting by getting to the root of the issues.

Essential Elements for a Healthy, Lasting Love Relationship. 4-week class.

DATE/TIME: Tuesdays starting August 10th. 6:30 to 8pm. Bill White, love relationship coach.

COST:  $52 per person. Pre-payment $42. Discover Chiropractic Clinic 7290 E. Broadway. Pre-registration requested. 520-731-9595. Request flyer.

*For a full flyer on this class via e-mail, contact Discover Chiropractic or Bill White.

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**EVENTS LISTED BELOW THIS LINE ARE PAST EVENTS**

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Saturday June 6, 2009            1 – 4 pm

 HOW TO RESOLVE ANGER, CONFLICTS, AND UNSPOKEN RESENTMENTS

 3-hour seminar and discussion

Water of Life Metropolitan Community Church

 

3269 N Mountain Ave. (Just N of Ft. Lowell on W side)

 Love offerings accepted for the seminar

All too often, unresolved emotional upsets, harsh judgments, and the inability to communicate effectively destroys friendships and partnerships, leaving unhappiness, resentments, and misunderstandings in their wake.

In this seminar, Bill will be presenting an outline of his powerful and effective model for creating and maintaining healthy relationships. We will also do some exercises to help you understand your emotional reactions, dissolve the emotions, and discover how to talk to the other person with loving kindness and personal strength. There will be time for questions and discussion.

__________________________________________________________________

*********  PAST EVENTS  *********

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 RA TUCSONThursday, May 14, 2009  l  8 – 10 a.m.

cordially invites you and your colleagues to the

Tucson SIERRA TUCSON Professionals’ Networking Breakfast

“Angry Relationships:

Getting Results and Avoiding Common Pitfalls”
Speaker: Bill White, M.C.

For more information, visit www.SierraTucson.com (Professional Events)

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FREE TALKS AND AN ALL-DAY WORKSHOP IN Jan/Feb 2009

 Flyers for the talks and the workshop can be e-mailed to you as a Word document or you may copy the PDF document using the links below.

 

 

Introduction Talks

  1. FREE TALKS STARTING WEDNESDAY  JANUARY 28TH   

 
 

 

 

Love relationship and communication specialist Bill White, M.A. is offering 2 duplicate talks entitled,  “Free Yourself From Anger and Arguments”.  Bill will be presenting an outline of his powerful model for creating healthy relationships with an emphasis on how to dissolve anger and eliminate unproductive arguments and fighting.

 

Bill’s techniques are based on his professional education, a profound spiritual awakening in 1982, and over 30 years being focused on his own healing from the effects of childhood dysfunction and traumas. In his work with individuals, couples, and families, Bill regularly produces quick and lasting results. On Sunday February 22nd, Bill will be giving an all-day workshop on the same topic.

DATES AND LOCATIONS

                

Wednesday: January 28

Time: 7-8:15pm.

Location: Lotus Center 2850 E. Grant Rd.

                    (At night it is a bit dark out front, so come early if you haven’t been there before. Pulling into the middle turn lane when you get close will help.)

  

Sunday, February 8

Time: 2-3:15

Location:

at-ease Wellness Center   310 S. Williams Blvd., Suite #110

                  Williams Boulevard is S of Broadway between Rosemont and Craycroft. Drive S until you see “310 S. Williams” on the curb. Pull in there or into the next drive. Drive to SW corner of building and walk through gate on S side. Suite 110 is just inside the gate.

 

 

 2. WORKSHOP SATURDAY FEBRUARY 22ND

Love relationship and communication specialist Bill White, M.A. is offering an all-day workshop entitled,  “Free Yourself From Anger and Arguments”.  You will learn Bill’s powerful model for dissolving anger and eliminating unproductive arguments and fighting.

 

Pre-register. $125 per person  (early bird discount $110 if paid 2 weeks prior to the workshop–Feb. 8th.) 

 

Location:

at-ease Wellness Center   310 S. Williams Blvd., Suite #110

                Williams Boulevard is S of Broadway between Rosemont and Craycroft. Drive S until you see “310 S. Williams” on the curb. Pull in there or into the next drive. Drive to SW corner of building and walk through gate on S side. Suite 110 is just inside the gate.      

           

A flyer can be e-mailed to you as a Word document or you may copy the PDF document using the link to be created very soon.

 

 


1 Comment so far
Leave a comment

I am a social worker in a dialysis facility. I am writing on behalf of one of my patients and his long-time girlfriend who are interested in improving their relationship (been fighting a lot lately and beginning to consider breaking up). They have very, very limited income.

Thank you,
Diane Herbertson, MSW

Comment by Diane




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